How is it, that I go to a party to meet new (straight) people, and the only guy that hits on me is at least 20 years older than me? He was the oldest person there by at LEAST 10 years, if not 15.

WHHHHYYYYY??????????

Must I be single forever? I'm not dating someone who is potentially old enough to be my father. Apparently the only men who truly appreciate who I am are old though. I don't think this is true. I can't let it be true. Because that's not what I want, and if I tell myself that's all I can get that's what I'll believe.

He thought I was awesome. Psh. And then, he's there with these two guys (I later found out twins), who he calls his sons, they weren't, but as one of them is leaving, he's like "Oh, here's my son" and it's a guy I slept with when I first got back to Wellington. I LAUGHED SO HARD. And I told him. It didn't stop him from wanting in my pants.

I'll figure out how to do this one day. I need to get laid. Shiiiit.

Ooooh, I was talking to someone at the party, and he asked me about someone I quite like and would like to date but know he's not ready for it(we've banged twice), and he said that when he saw us together, it looked like we were sposed to be together. Something about you could see a look in his eyes, true love, it might not be the right time now but that kinda love keeps or something...I was a bit drunk, and I may have had some e. I should hang out with him more often though. He's a genuinely nice person, and makes me feel like a quality human being. I am quality. I'm the fucking shit.

I'm gonna go get cash out, a pie, and then get me some weed. I wanna get high.

That's right

You fucking want me. And you're eating me with your eyes, and quietly uttering curses to describe how hot I am right now. And you know what? I have my lelo, and my lube, and I'm going to be just fine. Because once I resolve to do something, I can motherfucking do it. It helps, when sex is involved, to not be drunk around the object of my desire. Luckily, I have never been intoxicated around him, and the chances of being so are pretty slim. I still want to fuck him one last time, but I can wait. And you know what? Don't even need to talk to him about things anymore. Why? Because everything is as it was, but without me wanting to rip his clothes off every time I see him, because I've decided that I'm not conducting myself in that manner anymore. I have a fuckload of willpower and I had been neglecting it for months. I knew I could do it. I have always had the power. I just chose to ignore it.

Ahahaha who am I kidding? I still want to fuck him. A lot. But I can keep it in my pants. And it'll be tough some days, but I can totally fucking do this. I'm a strong bitch. And I don't give myself enough credit for how strong I am.

But seriously, he wants to rip my clothes off.

Also! I had a driving lesson on Sunday! Excite! Toula is an amazing teacher. Love her.

Bath Time Babble

I hit the button to stop recording before I'd finished my babble, but it's probably a good thing.