The ship is totally sailing without me. It's all I can feel at the moment. Oh, let down by a guy today. What a surprise. And I don't say that without sadness, because how fucking original. Someone says they want to do something with me, and then just before it's supposed to happen, I get bailed on. I was optimistic for this one, but I guess I should just give up on it.

In other news, I'm seriously thinking about making "Boys suck candy" It could be super delicious, and would be perfect for all those times you get let down by men. Also, I feel like lesbians would probably enjoy it. I would keep a pack or two for special occassions like Valentines Day, probably birthdays and any other special occassion that they like to let you down on.

Am I bitter? No. No I am.

THE HOUR FOR BLOGGING IS UPON US!

Hello!

It's Friday night/Saturday morning, and I'm sick, so I'm at home, and well, I'm kind bored. And LONELY. OH DEAR GOD I'M LONELY.

I'm not that lonely. Just a little bit. Like, it'd be nice to have someone come and cuddle me and talk some shit at me, cos I'm sick and that would be nice, but not extreme loneliness. Also, my legs are fucking aching. Extreme achy pain. And it's lame. It's making it very difficult to get comfortable. I only worked 3 days this week. That's how sick I was. I never take sick days. But this week, it was necessary. I could have managed going to work today, but I was asked how I was feeling by the boss at 11 before my shift started(I was still at home contemplating getting out of my pjs and into the shower), and I was like pretty shitballs. Still. And he told me to call in sick. And that was nice. And then I went back to bed for some more hours. Everything is just so fucking hard this week. I'm sure bleeding has really helped it along nicely. Also got a mysterious, textural rash. What else...possible herp above the eyebrow? I'm not sure, it's freaking me out a little but it doesn't appear to be migrating which is good. But seriously? Do I need that? I already had a magic 3, I didn't need 4.

I don't remember when I last blogged. I could check. I'm not going to. Last weekend I went out with t-bag and met a guy called...B...anyway, he's nice, and would appear to be interested. We danced on Saturday, it was heaps of fun. Kind of...rock and roll styles. It was pretty cool. He indicated he wished to go home with me. I told him that wasn't going to happen, but he could have my number. And we made out a little. In the street. But that's all he got. Because I'm a woman of high *cough cough cough* morals. But seriously, I'm trying to stick to that whole not going home with someone straight away, because that isn't getting me where I want. He texted me this morning. And said he wanted to catch up. I told him that I have the black death, and at this stage it appears I won't be up to doing such things, but, it's really nice to have him show interest. Simple things keep me going. He is also somewhat younger...22 in fact...kind of goes against many of my personal rules, due to previous less than satisfactory experiences. But really, he's employed, has been to and completed university, doesn't live at home, appears to have all the skills required to be a functional grown up...yep. I'ma text him tomorrow and tell him I can't, but would like to soon, cos that's the truth. I'm not well enough to be off running round outside being wooed.

I would really like to not be sick. It's boring. So boring. I should get more high. That will make it better. YES, I FAILED. I'm sick and it dulls the pain.

I feel like I'm being left behind.

I wish I had someone to come travelling with me. It just isn't as much fun on your own. And it's not like I merge easily with random new people. Not all by myself. I never have. And that's not just me being paro about it, I mean, my whole life I've been awkward when it comes to making new friends, all by myself, without the aid of another friend. Hanging out in pairs sometimes terrifies me. Like they'll be blinded by all my flaws. I think I can be easily forgotten by many.

I just need to share this...

This is how people are finding my blog. The retired programmer's motor home is an interesting one...

Search Keywords

split boobs 6 fatally bored 2 spilt boobs 2 "mildly sedated" 1 henry rollins 1 jiggle roller coaster 1 mildley sedated 1 retired programmer's motor home 1 roller coaster jiggle 1 split cranksky pics 1

*Sigh*

Heeeeey bitchez!

Okay, so I know, that really, there are only 2 people reading this, but you guys are rad, and you are now both on the other side of the planet(not literally, but you're both ages away).

Tonight, I made enchiladas. They were fucking delicious. I made those bitches from scratch too. I'm proud of my effort, I'm not gonna lie. And I fed them to T-bag, and she loved them, and that's all I wanted. Shit. I just want to make delicious things and for people to eat them and be like nom nom nom and love the shit out of it.

Oh man, NERD, you're breakin my heart. Sooner or later. Shit. Psh. Still love you.

So, after we ate tastiness, we went to the movies, and watched Bridesmaid. I have to admit, I kind of really quietly rather enjoyed it. I mean, it was a chick flick, and I hate them as a personal policy, but it was actually kinda good. And this is going to sound so fucking dumb, but I really, REALLY identified with the main character, which I hate by principle, but damn, that woman had me written all over it. And T-bag was the chick getting married. And the main character, she's banging a douchebag, and she wants more but he's like naaaaaaah, and she's all like, I'm cool with it, and I saw just a couple of parallels there, and then, she meets this real nice guy, which hasn't really happened...and she liked baking, and danced awkwardly to try and get out of a ticket, which, while I haven't done, and hope not to do, I do like to dance like a spaz.

I'm going to stop making comparisons now. Fuuuuuck my spelling is terrible tonight.

This weekend we just lived, I cleaned the house. I had it all to myself for the weekend. And I cleaned it. It's fucking pristine. It's never even looked like this before. Especially not for such a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean at least 24 hours. I even did all the dinner dishes while I was waiting for dinner to cook, which previously was pretty much unheard of. I think because a)I wasn't high b)I wanted to impress T with the cleanliness c)I didn't have tv to distract me and d)it's really fucking nice having a tidy kitchen.

It makes me feel kind of....at ease. I think there's a massive elephant in the flat at the moment though. I could be imagining it. I'm not sure. Maybe it's me. It probably is. The flat dynamic is really different without Matty in the house. And it's kind of more pronounced that...there is inequity. Mmmm. I dunno. BUT I HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

I'm sposed to be having sexy times tomorrow night with the hot yet...I seriously want to hate him sometimes. Anyway, I'm not holding my breath. I know I'll end up disappointed. It's so hot though. G NKVDIELBFcWEHjsd It sucks balls. I'd really like to meet someone nice. It'll happen. I know. It's just been a really, really long time. So long. I'm such a fucking catch too. And I can say that, because it's between friends. That and whoever else happens to stumble across this shit and actually bothers to read it. But seriously - cooks, cleans, loves sex - what more could you want? Oh, and I'm not a retard. I realise this isn't a quality all men look for in their women, but I don't think I'm really wanting to date someone who's okay with dating some vacant bimbo. Maybe I should text that guy I met the other week. There was...chemistry. Maybe just have a drink or something...if it's awkward and not what I want it doesn't need to go any further. I shouldn't be closing off opportunities. At the same time, I'm not going to waste my time with something I don't think is going to go anywhere *ahem* shit. I really need to stop that one. If it wasn't so damn hot it would be easier. Probably, if it wasn't someone that...mmmm, that is really in my best interests to keep on side, because it is fucking rad being able to go for a spa in the middle of my work day, and...yep.

I just looked at pictures of people from school. Some people, they age well, I would like to include myself in this group of people - mostly because I'm in the best shape I've ever been, and I'd like to think my face doesn't look haggard. Some people however, do not appear to age well.

It's midnight. I should go to bed. It's late. I'm so sexually frustrated. He better fucking come round tomorrow night. I feel almost defensive already. This is probably not a good thing. Like if I have a shell, like an armadillo, I would be rolling up. I could be a hermit crab I guess. Only if I'm one of the ones that uses sea anemones to decorate its shell/protect it(fashionable AND functional).

Give me music suggestions. I want to broaden my horizons. Because it's good for you. And it's important to be learning new things, and experiencing life and blah blah blah. For serialz though, music suggestions, yes please.

Over and out XXXXX

Special Fatty Rights

Wouldn't it be awesome, if you could take an extra, PAID hour from your STRENUOUS working day to go to the gym? Or take 15 minute toilet breaks? Or just feel as though you were entiteled to extra things in life, just because you're a fatty? I'm talking about the guy at work, that I have over time, grown to resent so much it's beginning to lean more towards hate.

Yes, I'm going to have a vent. Possibly because I should be writing an essay, possibly because otherwise I might explode. Who can say?

He just returned from the gym. He wasn't supposed to be going today, he went yesterday. He's been allowed one day a week, special fatty allowences. I would understand if he returned from the gym, filled with vigour for life and a desire to provide the best customer service possible for the duration of his shift. But he doesn't. He returns to work, and proceeds to eat. And he eats at least 3 times the calories he's burnt. I don't even know how many calories he burns, and I realise that the larger you are, the less things you need to burn calories as say, for example, I do(I always remember the sorely disappointed feeling I had when my skipping rope told me I'd been burning way less calories than it had been claiming after I changed my weight setting). But this being said, coming back from the gym, eating a sub that more than likely has the maximum limit for sauces reached, a carrot, and a couple of boiled eggs. While he's at work, he literally consumes more food than I would in a day. And it's really funny when my boss is away, because he eats a fuckload of crap food.

He comes back from the gym after an hour or so, watches movies for 15 minutes while muching out, and finally gets on the phone.

Also, I'm not entirely sure how he manages it, but seriously, every morning, within an hour of arriving, he goes for at the least, a 10 minute toilet excursion. And in the evenings, after his last break, he's quite fond of having a 5 minute extra break(normally while other people need to be having their breaks) because of his toileting needs. ALSO, he hasn't been on time in the morning for the last 2 weeks. I would say at least 3 out of the 4 shifts I do with him he walks in and apologises for being late. He lives 5 minutes away. Seriously. He lives on Vivian St, we work on Wakefield St. He has to cross 3 roads to get here. I would only classify it as being 2 blocks away.

I'm not fatphobic. Fatties can be fatties if they want. That's up to you. But if someone is going to expect special privelleges because of their weight...nuh uh, not cool. It's like deaf people(this happened the other day) trying to get cheap/free transport, just because they're deaf. Last I heard(punpunpun) being deaf only stops you from hearing, not from being able to walk, or take public transport.

Okay. Rant complete. I can't spell today. Well, I can, but it's harder than normal. I almost didn't make it to work today because I hit sleep instead of snooze on my alarm. I still made it here on time though. Time to essay party it up!