There's nothing like...

Receiving a text like this in the morning: "I'm obsessed with your ass right now" AWESOME. So awesome. Love it. He is. He can't help it. It's a good butt.

Winning time.

Hey yo Wasssssup? I'm at work. Surprise surprise. Doing the late shift. My absolute fave. But you know what? I'm getting picked up after, and going somewhere(I assume my house) with a certain man, and I'm quite happy about that. Because, I don't know what's going on, but this will be the 3rd time in 3 weeks. Once a week. This is amazing. You know where I was at barely a month and a half ago. I was in nowheresville. Getting nothing. And now? Shiiit. Probably because I stopped trying. It's all I can think of. I just. I just can't think of any other reason. It's not like I look amazing now and looked like shit before - I haven't had one of those fantastical movie makeovers that turn me from geek to goddess. Nope. Nothing has changed, apart from the fact that I just kind of...stopped trying. I wasn't going to put in bitchloads of effort if I wasn't getting any return. I'm not stupid. If I try something for a while, and I don't get results, I'm not going to keep trying. There isn't any point. And yes, I did try for a long time. Because I liked him. I still do. I'm feel like I'm kind of letting go of that as an option though. Like he is actually just a filler(LOL) until I find something better. And when I say better, I mean, more fulfilling. Probably with way more sex. Because - lets face it - I love sex. Lots of it. Insatiable appetite. That was a big paragraph. I wanted to break it up, but I couldn't. There was no easy breaking point. Like a giant shit that you stare out and can't figure out what your next move should be. Do I try flush again? Is it time to bring in the poo stick(I don't have one of these, I think it should be crafted individually for each unflushable)? Will a bucket of water do? We don't even own a bucket. Gosh. Luckily, I don't do giant poos on a regular basis. Because I poo daily, and don't let that shit build up until it's massive and trying to climb out the side of the bowl. Enough about poo? Yes, I think that might be. I should start putting through complaints. I don't want to. I still have a glorious 2 hours remaining. No. Not 2. 3. I have 3 hours remaining. 2 hours and 48 minutes to be precise. Shiiit. It just keeps going. Today has been slow. So slow. I had to change my computer password today. I made it something hilarious. I'm going to tell you, because I know you aren't going to be in my building trying to log onto computers as me. Because there really isn't any point, and it would be FAR more effort than it's worth. I don't even have access to anything. Anyway. No. Wait. I'm not going to tell you. I need to keep more secrets. Sometimes I feel like I'm too free with my information. Too free. Yet secretive. Yeti. Check out this lady http://www.zmonline.com/galleries/missuni/default.aspx?id=0135 They're sposed to be foxy uni ladies. Most of them, are not. I love this lady http://www.zmonline.com/galleries/missuni/default.aspx?id=0133 . RRRawr. THIS ONE SCARES ME http://www.zmonline.com/galleries/missuni/default.aspx?id=0121. I'm so critical of other females. Today, my boss said to one of my co-workers that if you were a single straight male, that yoga classes were a goldmine. When my coworker asked in reply what kind of age they were, I immediately replied "Nearing mutton". I got an oooooh harsh. But it's TRUE! They're throwing themselves at you because they're desperate and feel like their time is running out. They're panicking about the possibility of spending the rest of their lives alone. I'm being harsh. I know. But really. This one is weird http://www.zmonline.com/galleries/missuni/default.aspx?id=0105 I'm aware I feel threatened easily. But not at the same time. My bitchy claws come out quickly though. I mean, I know I'm attractive, I know men want me, yet somehow...I don't know. It's weird. I think it's really only with certain men that cause me to feel threatened. I bet you couldn't poooooossibily guess who fits that bill. LOOK AT HER! http://www.zmonline.com/galleries/missuni/default.aspx?id=0078 LOVE THIS LADY http://www.zmonline.com/galleries/missuni/default.aspx?id=0058 Okay. Running. Away. I just got bailed on, but in an "I'm eating your puss now and will eat it for you again in the morning, but I'm too tired to do it tonight" kinda way, which I'm okay with, cos as long as I'm gettin my puss eaten, I'm happy. I'm not going to lie. I like it. A lot. I think that was what was missing with Dan the second. There was no freaking oral. WHERE WAS THE ORAL? Not in that relationship, I can tell you that much. Okay. Over and out. LOVE YOU X

Cupcakes are like dumb hot bitches.

Two little words

CUNT WEASEL!

Roll it around in your head a bit. It gets better. It's such a joy to say.

Cunt weasel cocoon is quite good too. The imagery. Amazing.

Totally addicted to blog

I'm not.





Maybe a little. Just as a boredom passer. So fucking bored all the time. The internet isn't interesting. I have timetabling stuff to do, but I can't do it because I'm upstairs, and I don't have the programs I need to do it installed on my computer. I can't be bothered. Really, truly, cannot be bothered.





So, we had a flat inspection today. Didn't know it was happening. Hadn't received any notice of it. That's pretty awesome. House was MASSIVELY MESSY. Technically, they shouldn't have come into our house cos it's illegal. Dicks. Also, had a cat in the house. Mmmm. Potentially bad times ahead. Eeeee. I don't want to be kicked out. I love that house. It fills my heart with joy.





I'm really enjoying my tentacles top. It's good. The....1/3 sleeves are quite excellent. And the fact that I have tentacles bursting out of my side. When I saw bursting, it's just a picture. But it's rad. And I'm lovin it. I'm going to upload my video blog from this mornin when I get home. Maybe after a run. I might have to....hmmmmm, mysterious. I have no idea what I was going to say. I need to do some cleaning. I've reached the guilty stage. I'm just so freaking tired by the time I get home most of the time. It's a problem. I also have to bake cookies, I made the dough last night. Om nom nom. Chocolate sugar cookies. Need to make em into hearts. And ice em real pretty. Or try to. I haven't really mastered icing. It's not really something that I've tried in a big way before.





Ooooh. Weekend. Pictures. I was trouble.

I don't even remember this. I believe it completely though. With the hilarious innuendo all night, definite pashy face at times. I want to know what happened next. Maybe it was me being vomity. Who knows? Anyway. Damn. Crush. A healthy crush though. I mean, I'm not around him all the time, he isn't in a position of power over me, I'm pretty sure it's ever so slightly mutual. And, I haven't tested this at all yet, but from what I know of him, I don't think he's going to bail on me 3 days in a row without a damn good reason.

Such a big crush.

Well anyway, I'm gonna go and do some complaints. Because I haven't done them yet. And I should. Even though they're stupid.

Baby Got Back

LOVE THIS SONG

You're not trying hard enough.

To win my heart.

Wait, oh, yes, maybe you are. I don't know. I just wanted to say you weren't trying. I WANT COCK IN MY VAGINA. Yes. I do. Because, while Tuesday morning was awesome, and all too enjoyable, there was something lacking. And that lack was penetration. WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR PENIS IN MY VAGINA. It BELONGS there. That my friends, is supposed to be where the majority(some penises don't like vaginas) of cocks should spend any opportunity they get. Just fill me up. Go on. Dooooo iiiiiit. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!

I'm not actually that desperate. But I would like to fuck him. Especially when he looks at me with his "I'm undressing you with my eyes" possibly "I'm imagining eating your pussy right now". Just put it in me. Go on.

Okay. So, sexual frustration isn't actually the reason why I started bloggin today. Boredom is. Cos goddam I'm bored. The internet is losing it's abilities to entertain me effectively. Probably because I'm at work all the time. Goddammit. I think I am actually, just ever so slightly, allergic to avocado. Not enough to make me stop. Maybe I should. Or just eat it way more occasionally than I do. That might be a good plan. But I love it. I don't want to stop hanging out with it so often. It's not like I'm not a fan of doing things that aren't necessarily the best for me.

Whoa che moma. YOu know how sometimes, you see someone, and you're like "damn, that's a big butt", and it happens every time, because for some reason in your mind it shrinks over time. Pretty much the opposite to what happens in real life.

I can't stop looking at peoples groins. I CAN'T STOP IT. It's so...uh. I just can't stop myself. My eyes are drawn. I'm fighting SO many urges today. I think it's the lack of sleep. It makes me less capable of stopping the urges before they become, well, urges. I just see things and I was to do them, or I hear music, and I want to booty dance. Holy crap I wanna shake my butt. I'm going to have to wait until I get home, but when I finally get there, I'ma jiggle my ass around so good.

I'm gonna go. Do something. I don't know what. Clean my desk and stuff...

MaGICAL mORNInG

Originally, he was going to come round on Saturday night. Then, it turned into Sunday. Then, Monday after 8pm, now, Tuesday, am, sometime after 8 cos that's when Matty leaves the house and should avoid awkwardness. This is the last reschedule he's allowed.

I don't know if he will.

But you know what? The caring is starting to fade.

So, he's supposed to be coming round tonight. I don't know if he's going to. He's in a grump, and while it's not necessarily with me, I tried to tell him he should go home because he really isn't needed, and it's bringin me down man. Stop being so grumpy. Yes, I understand that things are shit right now, that's why I want to take you home and fuck you like crazy. SEX MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER(there are certain exceptions to this rule, but you know what I mean). Ejaculate on my face. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. Just fuck me, and you'll be happier I'm almost 100% certain. But I don't know if he will.

Either way. Tonight, I want to get laid, because I can. Because I'm a hot butch(hahahahaha) bitch, and if I wanna have sex, I'm going to have sex. Period. Nothing more to say on the matter about me gettin laid.

I got myself some stockings. They're....I don't want to use...they're nude stockings. I didn't want to use beige. I would call them camel over beige, just because of the connotations. Anyway, they have a black back seam. Maybe I could get myself a man with a fetish. Maybe it's time to have a sugar daddy. But not like Princess. That didn't work for me. I don't know how I'd be with domination. I mean, me dominating them. I'm pretty submissive. And I like to be told what to do, rather than telling them. I don't know. I'll work on that.

Wait, wait wait wait. Does it seem like maybe, maybe, I'm getting less....broody? I mean, do I seem less angst ridden? Maybe? I feel like I'm possibly less angry all the time. Maybe because I got to bang the person I'd been wanting to bang for AT LEAST 3 years. Maybe? Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe I just needed to cut loose a lil. Perhaps? I just don't know. But either way, it's getting better. I still want to do nothing more than burst into tears some days, but really, it's not that bad.

I bought my ass some sweet sweet heart shaped cookie cutters. Cos I'm going to make sassy love heart cookies. It's going to be glorious. I'm going to make ones that say "Hot Bitch" and "slut" and..."fuck me" and other things I probably shouldn't take with me to work to eat. I think it will be really fun. Because I'm coooooool. I'm going to try for "Clit Tease" and "Cock Tease" ones too. "Nice Tits". Random compliments. I might go for some sexist remarks. I don't have heaps of space. And I don't technically have an icing anything, I'm going to do it with a ziplock bag with a tiny hole in the end and it's going to be beautiful. I'll take pictures. Pictures are necessary. Maybe I should make a blog called "Perfect Pies and Cool Cookies" I'm not going to call it that. It does require alliteration. And it needs Pie and Cookie in the title. Because lets face it, that's mostly what it will be about. Because I want to start making cookies again, because I'm good at them, and nothing gets out a lil frustration like beating some butter. And pies, well, I like making pies. They taste good.

Oh. I just remembered. I also have a hot new g string. I haven't tried it on yet. I'm assuming it will be hot. And I don't think it's one that's going to cut my butt to shreds either which is always good. No one wants a cut up butt. Never. Unless...no, no, I can't think of any reason.

Ugh. He's just sitting over there looking SO SULKY. He won't even look at me. It's cool. Whatevs. His loss if he doesn't want to fuck a smokin hot bitch like me. Fuck yes. I feel old me coming back. It's coming back strong. By the end of next week I'm going to be so freakin full of myself. WATCH OUT WORLD! I'M BACK BITCHES!


I just wish to state that the spell check doesn't recognise the word clit. Fuck you blog, you better fuckin recognise.

WACHAAAAAW!

Wachaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

Suuuuup bitches?

I'm at work. Suprise suprise. I get to do 11 hours today. Wohoooooooo! Nothing like 7am to 6pm. And then I'm going to go home and make venison burgers. And they will be delicious. So delicious. Om nom nom nom nom.

I feel nauseous. SO nauseous.

I'm eating mints to try and persuade it to go away. I'm not sure that it's helping.

This is a cherrywood and silver spanker. I want. It is essentially a pretty stick to hit peoples bottoms with.

I have a bit of a thing for spanking at the moment. Not hard spanking. Just enough to get a little bit of a tingle. Ya know?

I want to punch him in the face. I don't. I kind of do. He's fixating on this girl he used to date when he was 13. 20 years ago. (He just became friends with her on facebook). Okay. He just walked over to steal mints as I took a call and franticly tried to minimise this window. Because if he saw this, he would blatantly be able to tell what I was talking about. Ah well. Right. So, he's flirting with her on fb(cos she's in the UK) and she's married - aparently she's the one flirting with him, doesn't really matter either way. Apparently she's having problems with her marriage because they can't get pregnant. I'm sorry, but I disapprove. I realise that my morals may be curious at times, but when it comes to relationships, proper relationships, where monogamy is expected, I think it's wrong. I mean, a little bit of flirting can be okay, but moderation, and preferably with randoms over people that you have some kind of connection to. Is that weird? Am I totally misguided?

Now he's flirting with me. I can feel your disaproving looks from here. I love it. Fuuuuuck. I can't help it. It's too hot not to love. Sheesh. I really can't help it. It's like a drug. But without the come down. Wait. No. There is definite come down action because I'll be feeling all awesome and shit and then it all goes out the window with one of his retarded fucking things he says. It's okay. I feel like I have a better grip on things after this weekend. Such a better grip. We just discussed deal breakers in relationships. Children is a big one. I would agree. Fuck. I've gotten to the age when the children thing is actually a real thing that I should contemplate when starting a serious relationship. Hahahahahaha relationship. I feel like I'm never going to have one of those. I think so long as I get some spooning and sweet sweet morning sex everything will be okay. Yep.

I'm doing a bunch of overtime. I'm going to buy pretty underwear. And dresses. I don't know where I'm finding these dresses, but I want. I WANT MORE PRETTY THINGS. They make me happy. Damn I'm hungry. This blog has taken 2.5 hours so far. I have to admit, I haven't been completely dedicated to the non...why did I say non? I don't know. Mystery. That's the problem with answering calls and getting distracted by other people. I'm typing...shiiiiit happened again. Golly gosh. I'm sorry.

I think, I might just add bits to this through out the day. I'll just keep going until 6pm. Because, well, shiiit, don't have much else to do. I want to make him come for coffee with me. I don't know if I can manage that. It's worth a shit. A shot. Hahahaha. I crack myself up. All the time. Every day. I laugh at myself. This is going to be an epic blog of nothing much I hope you know. I'm feeling not so negative right now, this is good, it's a nice change.

I have no title.

Hey

So, it has been brought to my attention, that I come across as being sad in mah blogs. Probs because I am most of the time. So much of the time. Today, I'm sad because I have rash face. It's bringing me down to the max. It's just so frustrating. I'm not doing anything that's excessively bad. Am I? Maybe I am. Maybe I deserve all the shit my body decides to throw at me on an almost daily basis. My lips are peely. It's fucking yuck. I want to hide. It bothers me SO MUCH. It's not fair either.

Meh.

So, this weekend was pretty good. Well, my Saturday was a bit amazing. I guess my Friday night was pretty awesome too. I got to do something I'd wanted to do for...at least 3 years. That's how long I'd been quietly pining for him. And I finally got to do it. Fuck yes. FUCK YES! Such a big cock also. So big. One of those surprise yet not surprised in the slightest kind of situations. Plus piercings too. I think I'm almost recovered. Maybe. So much tenderness on Saturday. But it was really nice, I got to just lie in bed until 3 on Saturday, naked and happy. Sleeping and having sex. It was exactly what I needed. Something that had certainly been missing from my life for a while. Such a long time. I GOT TO DO IT!!!!!!!! My walk home pretty much consisted of me wearing the biggest smile on my face. So much joy. I don't know if we'll be doing it again, or if we do how soon it will be, but I'm happy I got to do it either way. I needed a little bit of affection. Really really needed it.

I think...I don't know. I think he's trying to push me away. Or...I'm not sure. It's just like...he's trying to make me not like him or something. I don't' know. It's hard to explain, but, I kind of feel like, normally, when i think something's up, I'm normally right. You know? It definitely isn't helping my mood of late. It's just kind of like he says things, that shouldn't be hurtful if I don't have feelings for him, but I do, so therefore they are, but nobody else in the room understands any of it because they don't know about anything. And that's a little bit shit. I just feel super defensive all the time. And kind of like everything he says is a personal attack. I realise it isn't, he's just a jerk, but, I dunno. Sometime, I regret getting myself into this position. I mean, shit, it's awesome most of t he time, but the fact is that it's going to get painful, and it's painful now because I don't really feel very secure in myself. I opened myself up, and I got shut down, and then I got shut out. I mean, before I talked to him, we were textin and talking on a regular basis, and then, I tell him how I feel, and I realise that he doesn't want what I want, but I didn't want to change anything. That's not what I wanted.

And then, THEN, he's all nice and shit and confusing the CRAP OUT OF ME. I mean seriously, I just don't get it. Just choose something, and run with it. I've chosen sad girl. I really need to learn how to do that on the pole(it's one where you kind sit and bring your upper body over your legs. I think it's called sad girl cos it makes your thighs real sad. THey don't like it much. Although the desensitising it well under way). I don't think I chose it, it chose me. But hey, what can a girl do. It'll pass. The storm clouds can't last forever. LOLOLOLOL jsut got asked what I blog about. Psh. You bitch. It's you. I just wish to state that I'm not actually this angry in my regular day to day living. Mostly. But seriously, I just, I vent. A lot. Because I figure I'm better off getting it out now, rather than let it turn into real anger. Because, I don't think me being angry is a good thing. Never good. Need to pee. Gonna post blog now. Just babbling about nothing.

I'm pretty sure whoever it was that coined the phrase "More than a handful is a waste" was just a jealous small tittied bitch.

Just sayin.

UHFBDSILFNSDKF

DON'T SEND ME A TEXT SAYING YOU WANT TO FUCK ME AND THEN NOT DO IT! That's just plain mean.

BAH! I AM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW. I've been bleeding all week, and all I want to do is fuck, and you're dangling the carrot in front of me. Just out of my reach. Just teasing me. You know I want it. Don't say you're going to do something and then not do it. I can't handle that kind of disappointment right now. It's too much for my pent up brain to handle. Just put your cock inside me. Yes please. FUCKING DO IT.

I have a booger in my nose. I don't know if it's visible to the rest of the world or not. It's too far up to easily remove. I'll assume it's safely tucked away. I'm getting hot and sweaty. That's how much I'm fighting everything my body wants to do. It's not fair. I want to fuck. Fuck me. FUCK ME! DO IT!

In other news, I appear to have dropped 1kg since moving into my new abode. Probably all that salad and healthy things I've been eating. But for reals. I'm down to 62.1 according to my scales. The pie and cheese diet is nigh. Maybe once I get below 62. Maybe. It was going to be 61, but I quite want to have an excuse to eat cheese and pie. Because that shit is delish. So long as I don't eat cheese before I go to sleep at night.

Earthquakes. I think I should bring this up. There have been two I've felt in the past 2 days. I'm not overly worried, because I like to think that we're having small ones in order to release the pressure, rather than having a huge one and getting it all out at once. Now see, this, this may not be true, but I'm choosing to believe it, because to be perfectly honest, I can't do anything to stop an earthquake. If it happens, it happens, nothing I can do to stop it, all I can do is be prepared and hope for the best. So, mmmm. 40 seconds left of my break. And then I have to take calls. 20 seconds...

BAH!#UQ@$H*@&Q$Y@#RK I still want sex. I like how it made it a link to an "email address". I may be doing to see the Dufraines tonight. I'll get my dance on. Maybe remove some of that energy. Maybe I'll fuck someone else. WHo knows? Who fucking knows. I need to do something though. I feel like crying. That's how much sexual frustration I have. Sure, I could masturbate, but really, I don't think that's going to cut it. Unless I can get some kind of device that will make out with me at the same time and maybe touch my boobs and suck on my nipples from time to time. I don't think it's going to happen. The magical masturbation that is. I want the physical contact. I'm not going to get that from my vibrator. I hope that....fuck. What was I going to say? I got interrupted by a call.

I'm feeling grumpy. Fuck. Look at what XTREME(yes, if it's in caps, it isn't going to have an e at the beginning) sexual frustration does to me. It makes me ANGRY. SO ANGRY. SO MUCH ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY. Maybe that's why I want to cry. The angry makes me teary. And schweaty. DO fucking angry. I don't have any control over the angry. He just left. Maybe now I'll be able to calm down. Maybe. I hope I get a text back from my lady rock. She's my rock. She's keeping me stable. Probably the only thing that's stopping me from losing my shit.

So, I sent him a text saying "You know, if you don't want to do something, you should just say" and he replied with "I'm not well today put it like that" and I was like "okay" cos, what else do you say? I don't know. I just don't know. And then he said that he's actually very stressed out. Honestly, just tell me that. I'm an understanding lady. SO UNDERSTANDING! OMG. Crap. I'm not even angry now. I'm too fucking understanding. This is how I become a pushover.

Aw crap. Everyone around me is being all "The earthquake is coming" and being all pessimistic and shit. That's not how I roll. I don't need to be immersed in that. It's not good for my soul. It's bad for my soul even. Don't drag me on the Pessimism Express. I'm gonna ride my optimism till the bitter end.

Okay. I'm gonna stuff some envelopes. I'm still feeling mopey. Angry. Not at him. Hormonal angry I think. I don't know. I'm kind of tired too. Love yaw. XOXO