Rut your stuff

Yeah.

I'm. Yeah. Not super awesome. SO DEPRESSED. I realise my version of "so depressed" is nowhere near other peoples versions, but doesn't stop it from being any less bad for me.

I want to cry. I would like to vomit. I'm struggling.

I'M OKAY! Or at least, doing better. My mood is waaaaay unbalanced presently. Highs and lows. And...so much cranky. Shit. Need to clean that house. It's makin me a crankosaurus.

So, on Tuesday, apart from the fact that a massive earthquake came along and FUCKED UP Christchurch(I felt it in my office, in Wellington, which would see to suggest that it was really strong there, and it was, and it did a LOT of damage). Um, so, that happened at noonish. And then a couple of hours later, I found out(this was more devestating for me...I know, it shouldn't work that way, but it just does) that QOTSA were postponing their show till Wednesday. Fair enough, I'm sad, but I can accept that. I get a call from my dad. He's moving in, as "flatmates" with Debra, the woman that I HATE and work with. I WORK WITH HER. I HATE HER. OH MY GOD. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I realise, that everything isn't about me. I know that. This woman has been in my life since I was a child, and she irritates the crap out of me. I haven't always worked with her, this is true, but she's overly familiar with me at work even though she barely knows anything about me, just whatever my dad tells her.

Anyway, he;s moving in with her in three weeks. I just spoke to mah boss about it today. Shortly after I claimed I wanted to vom. So borderline tears at one point, but I told him that I didn't want to have any shifts alone with her. Because I don't. Because she'll just talk at me about my father. He said that's cool, he's made note of it, I won't be having anymore shifts alone with her. Which is such a relief. I told him what the story is. Under the strictest of confience. Because I was told that I'm not allowed to tell anyone at work. Because she wants to keep her husband(he's moving out in 2 weeks, my dad moves in in 3) on her health insurance. Niiiiice. Probably the talking aspect also. (She's paro about the office talk, mostly because she taaaaaalks about others). So, I guess, that's a relief. As long as I don't have to deal with her on my own, it should be okay. And I'm going to talk to her next time we're both working, and let her know that I'm not okay with her talking to me about my father. Because I really, truely don't want to talk to her about it. Any of it. I don't want to know.


MORE TOMORROW. HOME FOR NOW.