I want to send a link of this song to the american.
In saying that, he didn't text or email me at all today after I told him that I didn't feel the right kinda connection between us last night. And that our time is coming to an end. He seemed saddened by this development. It's mean to keep him thinking that he has a chance for something more than what has already been. I definitely don't want to be his girlfriend.
I should go to bed. Shhhh.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Pesky Americans
Ugh. I didn't do it. I fail.
I did however, establish for myself that it's a fuckload of fun just teasing him. Being sick is a definite advantage in the "no, fuck off, I don't want to have sex" states. I said he was just getting a cuddle(mostly cos I love cuddles). He tried. I pretty much just rolled around and had a damn good time resisting.
T-Bag isn't going to be impressed by my lack of movement in the getting rid of him front. Shit. It's okay.
I did however, establish for myself that it's a fuckload of fun just teasing him. Being sick is a definite advantage in the "no, fuck off, I don't want to have sex" states. I said he was just getting a cuddle(mostly cos I love cuddles). He tried. I pretty much just rolled around and had a damn good time resisting.
T-Bag isn't going to be impressed by my lack of movement in the getting rid of him front. Shit. It's okay.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I just took a self-esteem quiz.
This is what it told me:
The last sentence is entirely true. And I would like to think it's pretty accurate too.
One of the reasons for this high level of self esteem, maybe be that I'm awesome. Also, the fact that every time I go into town without a male companion, I find a new one who would like to be my companion. There is no lack of men who want to date me(I'm guessing at least half would just like to get into my pants though).
Tonight, after dancing, I'm going on a date with the guy from Weta. When I say date, I mean, I have to get ride of him. Because it's not working for me. I tried to lay the ground for dumping him last week. I think it kind of worked. I'm just not assertive enough. It's hard to tell someone you have no desire to see them anymore when you're naked and relying on them driving you home. I never got to swim in the boobly pool again.That makes me a little sad. I'm also getting rid of him, because a friend made me promise to her that I would only have 2 men on the go at the most. And I'm about to add a new one into the mix on Thursday. Look him up on facebook - http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150416817594045.448002.644414044
Just look at that picture. Admire the torso. Browse the rest if you feel inclined, but really, you just need to look at that picture. I only met him briefly on Friday night, but it would appear he's quite taken by me. He said that I gave him butterflys. And said (I'ma quote some texts now) ""I just know in my mind and body I like you" - that means he thinks I'm a babe. Also, apparently I'm easy to talk to and have kind eyes...
I think he's maybe just a real straightforward, kiwi guy. Just...yep. Anyway. He has a babin bod. I wanna take him for at least one ride around the block. Did I mention he surfs? He asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with him on Saturday morning(he asked at 8:30am or something ridiculous). I declined. I had lunch with my mum anyway. Also, bed seemed way better than hanging out on a beach.
Oh, and so, I went on a date with A on Wednesday. I quite like him. I actually do. He's smart and nice and....yep. We get along real well. Timing is problematic though. I think he likes that he can beat me at any game we play. Pool and bowling have been tried. He won both. I do believe mini golf is on the cards too. And I wanna make him come ice skating with me. Yeah. We had sex once. Before we went on a date. So the first time I met him. Well, I'd met him before apparently, but I don't remember. Anyway, we'd both consumed mucho alcohol. It wasn't ideal. It wasn't terrible. He played Fleetwood Mac in the morning and dropped me off at home on his way to the vege market. Yeah. He's good. Young, but good.
Oh. I went to the dentist yesterday. They gave me 3 new fillings. Yeah. There's still more to go. And crowns. Shit. Bitch gon' be expensive. Already is. Also - booking in my wisdom teeth removal for the 25th October. One month to go. Eeeeee.
Goddamn I need to drop the kids off at the pool. 15 minutes of work to go. I can do it. And then, find myself an unoccupied floors bathroom(I mean, all the people who work on it have already left for the day).
YEP. Life is pretty good. Still battling the rash. Fucking rash. Always with me.
Oh. I forgot. Yesterday was my first day of non-smoking. I had 2 cigarettes. This, while not being a complete halt, is still an improvement on my previous smoking. Also, no weed. No burning things going into my lungs. Hopefully, my skin will get better. I'm unsure if stopping will be a permanent thing if it doesn't. Although, most of the men I seem to attract are non smokers. Which is really quite interesting. Hmmmm. I haven't smoked at all today, just so you know. And I should be able to not smoke at all tonight. Yep. I'm feeling quietly positive.
This is what it told me:
|
The last sentence is entirely true. And I would like to think it's pretty accurate too.
One of the reasons for this high level of self esteem, maybe be that I'm awesome. Also, the fact that every time I go into town without a male companion, I find a new one who would like to be my companion. There is no lack of men who want to date me(I'm guessing at least half would just like to get into my pants though).
Tonight, after dancing, I'm going on a date with the guy from Weta. When I say date, I mean, I have to get ride of him. Because it's not working for me. I tried to lay the ground for dumping him last week. I think it kind of worked. I'm just not assertive enough. It's hard to tell someone you have no desire to see them anymore when you're naked and relying on them driving you home. I never got to swim in the boobly pool again.That makes me a little sad. I'm also getting rid of him, because a friend made me promise to her that I would only have 2 men on the go at the most. And I'm about to add a new one into the mix on Thursday. Look him up on facebook - http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150416817594045.448002.644414044
Just look at that picture. Admire the torso. Browse the rest if you feel inclined, but really, you just need to look at that picture. I only met him briefly on Friday night, but it would appear he's quite taken by me. He said that I gave him butterflys. And said (I'ma quote some texts now) ""I just know in my mind and body I like you" - that means he thinks I'm a babe. Also, apparently I'm easy to talk to and have kind eyes...
I think he's maybe just a real straightforward, kiwi guy. Just...yep. Anyway. He has a babin bod. I wanna take him for at least one ride around the block. Did I mention he surfs? He asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with him on Saturday morning(he asked at 8:30am or something ridiculous). I declined. I had lunch with my mum anyway. Also, bed seemed way better than hanging out on a beach.
Oh, and so, I went on a date with A on Wednesday. I quite like him. I actually do. He's smart and nice and....yep. We get along real well. Timing is problematic though. I think he likes that he can beat me at any game we play. Pool and bowling have been tried. He won both. I do believe mini golf is on the cards too. And I wanna make him come ice skating with me. Yeah. We had sex once. Before we went on a date. So the first time I met him. Well, I'd met him before apparently, but I don't remember. Anyway, we'd both consumed mucho alcohol. It wasn't ideal. It wasn't terrible. He played Fleetwood Mac in the morning and dropped me off at home on his way to the vege market. Yeah. He's good. Young, but good.
Oh. I went to the dentist yesterday. They gave me 3 new fillings. Yeah. There's still more to go. And crowns. Shit. Bitch gon' be expensive. Already is. Also - booking in my wisdom teeth removal for the 25th October. One month to go. Eeeeee.
Goddamn I need to drop the kids off at the pool. 15 minutes of work to go. I can do it. And then, find myself an unoccupied floors bathroom(I mean, all the people who work on it have already left for the day).
YEP. Life is pretty good. Still battling the rash. Fucking rash. Always with me.
Oh. I forgot. Yesterday was my first day of non-smoking. I had 2 cigarettes. This, while not being a complete halt, is still an improvement on my previous smoking. Also, no weed. No burning things going into my lungs. Hopefully, my skin will get better. I'm unsure if stopping will be a permanent thing if it doesn't. Although, most of the men I seem to attract are non smokers. Which is really quite interesting. Hmmmm. I haven't smoked at all today, just so you know. And I should be able to not smoke at all tonight. Yep. I'm feeling quietly positive.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Forgotten Red Flag
Holy shit.
I'd forgotten this part.
I think because it makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it so I'd kinda pushed it to the back of my mind because I couldn't vocalise it to anyone else because it's just so freaking absurd.
So, he was dating a girl. In Wellington(he must move super quick because he's only been here two months). He saw me at Southern Cross and pretty much decided he must have me. So he talked to me, and when he found out that I had given him my real number, he ditched the girlfriend.
This weirds me out. I mean, I'm amazing, don't get me wrong, but it still seems ridiculous. I guess at least he's not a cheater. But seriously? Who does that? We only talked for maybe 15 minutes, and as soon as I text back he goes off and breaks up with his girlfriend. That's weird right? That's not standard practice. Is it?
Yeah. I'm gonna go to this party, see how it goes, probably won't be seeing him again at this stage. Too many disconcerting factors...
I'd forgotten this part.
I think because it makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it so I'd kinda pushed it to the back of my mind because I couldn't vocalise it to anyone else because it's just so freaking absurd.
So, he was dating a girl. In Wellington(he must move super quick because he's only been here two months). He saw me at Southern Cross and pretty much decided he must have me. So he talked to me, and when he found out that I had given him my real number, he ditched the girlfriend.
This weirds me out. I mean, I'm amazing, don't get me wrong, but it still seems ridiculous. I guess at least he's not a cheater. But seriously? Who does that? We only talked for maybe 15 minutes, and as soon as I text back he goes off and breaks up with his girlfriend. That's weird right? That's not standard practice. Is it?
Yeah. I'm gonna go to this party, see how it goes, probably won't be seeing him again at this stage. Too many disconcerting factors...
I would do anything...
I wouldn't. I lie.
So. Weta party on Saturday. Quite looking forward to it. I have to dress like a Tintin character - or something along that vein of thought - have you ever noticed how few females there are in tintin? There's like...two.
Anyway. I don't know how much longer I'll keep things up with Mr Weta, mostly because...I get the distinct feeling that while I'm babin' hot and he's pretty infatuated, he seems to want to change me. Try and make me partake in...healthier activities. Frowning gently on my binge drinking, my desire to inhale carcinogens, the fact that I exercise so that I can eat what I want, rather than trying to improve my body and achieve physical perfection.
I'm not perfect. I don't want to be perfect. I'm quite content being me, just the way I am. Sure, avoiding rash attacks would be awesome, and I plan on tinkering with my diet a little to see if that changes things. Perhaps(oh my gosh), I might even go to a dermatologist(finally) and get an allergy test done so that I know conclusively what I'm allergic to. Isn't that a novel concept! But here's the thing - if I change, it's not because someones asked me to. It's because I want to. I'm especially not changing if it's because you've decided that you know what's best for me. I'll take on your feedback, and I'll mull it over, but fuck, I'm not going to just change everything about myself just so that you get what you want. It doesn't work like that.
He's kind of obsessed with perfection. He says it's part of doing Visual Effects. And this is probably true. He also points to the "LA Lifestyle", and their need for consumer bullshit perfection. I'm not like that though, I never have been, and I kind of hope I never will be because it's SO much easier being happy with who you are than trying to change it so that no one will spot your flaws. Because I have them, I'm not going to point them out cos then you'll all notice them, but I definitely have them.
Moral of the story is: Don't try and change me. Because it won't work out well. ESPECIALLY if you've just met me. Shiiit. I'll change when I want to change. I may even change for you, but not if you ask.
I'm so fucking hungry. I need to eat something. I gots cereal. And a banana. I want coffee also. I NEED COFFEE.
I wanted to have a bath last night, but people were drinking in the hoose until I had to go to bed. It made me slightly sad. I was looking forward to it. SO MUCH. I was gonna blend some oats and have a texturally delightful bath(it's good for ma skins too).
Okay. I'm going to go eat things and stuff. Cos I must. Or I may die. And I'm not ready for death. Not yet.
DID I MENTION I HAVE 2X TICKETS TO EDDIE IZZARD IN NOVEMBER? I'M SUPER EXCITEMENT!
OH! OH MY CRAPS! He also, is anti me getting more tattoos. I mean, really? No. It's my body, I'll do whatever the fuck I like with it. Don't even try to be telling me how I can or cannot be modifying my body. Yeah. The more I think about it, the more he won't be staying.
DON'T TRY TO HOLD ME BACK, IT'LL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE
So. Weta party on Saturday. Quite looking forward to it. I have to dress like a Tintin character - or something along that vein of thought - have you ever noticed how few females there are in tintin? There's like...two.
Anyway. I don't know how much longer I'll keep things up with Mr Weta, mostly because...I get the distinct feeling that while I'm babin' hot and he's pretty infatuated, he seems to want to change me. Try and make me partake in...healthier activities. Frowning gently on my binge drinking, my desire to inhale carcinogens, the fact that I exercise so that I can eat what I want, rather than trying to improve my body and achieve physical perfection.
I'm not perfect. I don't want to be perfect. I'm quite content being me, just the way I am. Sure, avoiding rash attacks would be awesome, and I plan on tinkering with my diet a little to see if that changes things. Perhaps(oh my gosh), I might even go to a dermatologist(finally) and get an allergy test done so that I know conclusively what I'm allergic to. Isn't that a novel concept! But here's the thing - if I change, it's not because someones asked me to. It's because I want to. I'm especially not changing if it's because you've decided that you know what's best for me. I'll take on your feedback, and I'll mull it over, but fuck, I'm not going to just change everything about myself just so that you get what you want. It doesn't work like that.
He's kind of obsessed with perfection. He says it's part of doing Visual Effects. And this is probably true. He also points to the "LA Lifestyle", and their need for consumer bullshit perfection. I'm not like that though, I never have been, and I kind of hope I never will be because it's SO much easier being happy with who you are than trying to change it so that no one will spot your flaws. Because I have them, I'm not going to point them out cos then you'll all notice them, but I definitely have them.
Moral of the story is: Don't try and change me. Because it won't work out well. ESPECIALLY if you've just met me. Shiiit. I'll change when I want to change. I may even change for you, but not if you ask.
I'm so fucking hungry. I need to eat something. I gots cereal. And a banana. I want coffee also. I NEED COFFEE.
I wanted to have a bath last night, but people were drinking in the hoose until I had to go to bed. It made me slightly sad. I was looking forward to it. SO MUCH. I was gonna blend some oats and have a texturally delightful bath(it's good for ma skins too).
Okay. I'm going to go eat things and stuff. Cos I must. Or I may die. And I'm not ready for death. Not yet.
DID I MENTION I HAVE 2X TICKETS TO EDDIE IZZARD IN NOVEMBER? I'M SUPER EXCITEMENT!
OH! OH MY CRAPS! He also, is anti me getting more tattoos. I mean, really? No. It's my body, I'll do whatever the fuck I like with it. Don't even try to be telling me how I can or cannot be modifying my body. Yeah. The more I think about it, the more he won't be staying.
DON'T TRY TO HOLD ME BACK, IT'LL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE
Friday, August 26, 2011
OH DENTIST
I forgot. I went to the dentist twice this week. The first time they did a check and one of those standard type mouth xrays. Pretty much, I need at least $3000 worth of dental stuff done. I neeeeeed....a filling, and the polishy thing with a fluoride treatment, and...2 crowns. On the teeth that have had root canals. I don't recall, all those years ago, being informed that I would require them at a later stage. They could only see one of my wisdom teeth, hence the second appointment.
The second one, involved an...I want to say ECG. I'm not sure that's right though. But it's an xray that does the majority of your face, from ear to ear kinda thing and up to about eye height. It sounded freaking futuristic. It made all the whirs and shit that comes with futuristic machines in the movies. And guess what?! I only have 3 wisdom teeth. Two on the bottom that are coming up(but not moving because they're blocked by teeth) on a meeeeean angle. The one on the top isn't even at the back of my teeth, it's kinda mid way along the back, above my teeth. I have no idea how they're going to get that one out, cos normally they make a hole and remove it that way, but...it's just not even possible to do that. I was supposed to make an appointment with the specialist this week. I haven't. I'll do it on Monday.
The second one, involved an...I want to say ECG. I'm not sure that's right though. But it's an xray that does the majority of your face, from ear to ear kinda thing and up to about eye height. It sounded freaking futuristic. It made all the whirs and shit that comes with futuristic machines in the movies. And guess what?! I only have 3 wisdom teeth. Two on the bottom that are coming up(but not moving because they're blocked by teeth) on a meeeeean angle. The one on the top isn't even at the back of my teeth, it's kinda mid way along the back, above my teeth. I have no idea how they're going to get that one out, cos normally they make a hole and remove it that way, but...it's just not even possible to do that. I was supposed to make an appointment with the specialist this week. I haven't. I'll do it on Monday.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Dinner and a Movie.
SO.
I thought I should blog. Because, I can't be bothered doing my assignment. Because...it sucks balls. I mean, seriously, it sucks real hard. I hate it. I also hate the entire course, with it's course material written by racist chimpanzees, and incomplete assignment questions, and...ugh, it's just shitty.
So I'm blogging. Also, GUESS WHAT?! I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT. I'm gonna call him...A. We're going to eat some things and then go to a movie - we're gonna watch The Guard at Paramount. I met him at a soiree last Saturday (yes, I did use that word), and I may have gone home with him...there were some minor alcohol related complications, so we're gonna try again. He's an architecture student, last year of his...masters? Something...post grad...? It's to do with architecture, and he's doing his final year. He's also 22. And I think he's kinda cute. And sweet. And smart, which is also quite excellent.
AND THEN!!!! I have another date on Monday. With another guy. YES! THAT IS CORRECT! I'm well chuffed.
I'm going to talk about the rest of the things I'm going to do this weekend first though, before I return to the talk of date #2.
Saturday night, I'm going to the fetish ball. I'll post a picture of my outfit maybe before I go out or perhaps the next day or something. I'm going to wear my corset, black ruffly undies, and stockings...maybe...I'm not sure if I'll wear the nude with black back seams or red back seams. I haven't decided. And the riding crop is coming to party too. I got heel grips for my shoes so I can wear them without having to walk REALLY awkwardly, trying to keep my feet inside my heels. I wish I could wear the red ones. I can't walk in them. It wouldn't be practical at all. But I love them.
And then, on Sunday, I'm going out for dinner with the family. Not my father. I should probably make some form of contact with him soon though I suppose. Because It's fathers day, and, you know, I guess it's what I'm sposed to do. It's not like he's tried to contact me at all in the past...almost 6 months. But I guess I should. I've actually avoided him in the street. But anyway, it's the baby bro's birthing day, so we'll go out for dinner and he's inviting some friends(I like them so I'm happy!)
And then on MONDAY. So, date number two.
26/08/2011: (I started writing this yesterday and then got sidetracked by actually doing my job).
Okay, so, continuing what I was saying about date number two. Ummm, talked to him via the emails a little bit more today, and this is where we're going http://www.arbitrageur.co.nz/page/home.aspx
I don't understand at least half of what the menu says. I'm contemplating just sitting with google images and the menu and typing in all the things I don't know. He's mid to late 30's(this is based on my quiet investigative work and looking at his education history...). I'm a creeper. What can I say? I don't doubt he's already looked for me on the internets. Because that is unfortunately, the time that we're living in. (He doesn't have fb by the way, I already tried to find him...). T-bag thinks he's creepy. I think that's mostly because he isn't in his 20's. Sometimes I forget she's so young, and then other times it seems so blindingly obvious. And anyway, even if he does turn out to be creepy, or it's weird, or whatever, I'll still get to eat some tasty cheese, and drink some wine, and maybe even have snail and chorizo risotto.
I'ma go now. I think. I could ramble for hours I'm sure. Oh, and just so you know, I fail at paying phone bills, so therefore, I do not have the internets at home at the moment. Probably until Monday, hopefully not any later...Procrastination is a terrible thing. But, with no internet, it should make it easier to stay on task with my assignment which I intend on completing tomorrow while I am not hung over and still have some form of brain power available.
I'll let you know how date #1 goes on Monday. And then #2 on Tuesday.
XOXO (I SO WANT TO WRITE GOSSIP GOAT)
I thought I should blog. Because, I can't be bothered doing my assignment. Because...it sucks balls. I mean, seriously, it sucks real hard. I hate it. I also hate the entire course, with it's course material written by racist chimpanzees, and incomplete assignment questions, and...ugh, it's just shitty.
So I'm blogging. Also, GUESS WHAT?! I HAVE A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT. I'm gonna call him...A. We're going to eat some things and then go to a movie - we're gonna watch The Guard at Paramount. I met him at a soiree last Saturday (yes, I did use that word), and I may have gone home with him...there were some minor alcohol related complications, so we're gonna try again. He's an architecture student, last year of his...masters? Something...post grad...? It's to do with architecture, and he's doing his final year. He's also 22. And I think he's kinda cute. And sweet. And smart, which is also quite excellent.
AND THEN!!!! I have another date on Monday. With another guy. YES! THAT IS CORRECT! I'm well chuffed.
I'm going to talk about the rest of the things I'm going to do this weekend first though, before I return to the talk of date #2.
Saturday night, I'm going to the fetish ball. I'll post a picture of my outfit maybe before I go out or perhaps the next day or something. I'm going to wear my corset, black ruffly undies, and stockings...maybe...I'm not sure if I'll wear the nude with black back seams or red back seams. I haven't decided. And the riding crop is coming to party too. I got heel grips for my shoes so I can wear them without having to walk REALLY awkwardly, trying to keep my feet inside my heels. I wish I could wear the red ones. I can't walk in them. It wouldn't be practical at all. But I love them.
And then, on Sunday, I'm going out for dinner with the family. Not my father. I should probably make some form of contact with him soon though I suppose. Because It's fathers day, and, you know, I guess it's what I'm sposed to do. It's not like he's tried to contact me at all in the past...almost 6 months. But I guess I should. I've actually avoided him in the street. But anyway, it's the baby bro's birthing day, so we'll go out for dinner and he's inviting some friends(I like them so I'm happy!)
And then on MONDAY. So, date number two.
26/08/2011: (I started writing this yesterday and then got sidetracked by actually doing my job).
Okay, so, continuing what I was saying about date number two. Ummm, talked to him via the emails a little bit more today, and this is where we're going http://www.arbitrageur.co.nz/page/home.aspx
I don't understand at least half of what the menu says. I'm contemplating just sitting with google images and the menu and typing in all the things I don't know. He's mid to late 30's(this is based on my quiet investigative work and looking at his education history...). I'm a creeper. What can I say? I don't doubt he's already looked for me on the internets. Because that is unfortunately, the time that we're living in. (He doesn't have fb by the way, I already tried to find him...). T-bag thinks he's creepy. I think that's mostly because he isn't in his 20's. Sometimes I forget she's so young, and then other times it seems so blindingly obvious. And anyway, even if he does turn out to be creepy, or it's weird, or whatever, I'll still get to eat some tasty cheese, and drink some wine, and maybe even have snail and chorizo risotto.
I'ma go now. I think. I could ramble for hours I'm sure. Oh, and just so you know, I fail at paying phone bills, so therefore, I do not have the internets at home at the moment. Probably until Monday, hopefully not any later...Procrastination is a terrible thing. But, with no internet, it should make it easier to stay on task with my assignment which I intend on completing tomorrow while I am not hung over and still have some form of brain power available.
I'll let you know how date #1 goes on Monday. And then #2 on Tuesday.
XOXO (I SO WANT TO WRITE GOSSIP GOAT)
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