HellO!
So, I took some advice a few weeks ago, and I've been really trying to put it into play. Because, shit wasn't working, and I think it kind of is again. I think. Maybe. Probably yes. And damn my dicknotism but I just can't get past it. I think I need something(lets be honest, I need someone), to take over that part of my brain if I'm going to remove him completely.
So anyway. Oooooh, I just got instructed to go for a walk or something till one. That gives me 25 minutes to do whatever I like. I might go look at headphones. Because mine are fucked.
Okay, I didn't do that. I did however almost finish my essay, and casually flirt while I was at it.
Returning to my original topic, advice. Mostly regarding meeting new people. I've been trying to kind of, just, put myself out there. And I have been meeting some new people. I'm trying to figure out when I actually had the conversation. Oh nup, yeah, I remember. So, I've been to a few social engagements where I haven't really known all that many people, just one or two.
I went to one such occassion on Friday night. I was, admittedly, home in bed by...well, home, before 10pm. It was the BIGGEST STONER PARTY EVER! Seriously. And yes, I have fallen off the wagon. I smoke every other day-ish. Meh. I'm not buying it. It's not like it's in my possession, so I can't smoke it whenever I want, and it's only in social situations.
Anyway, this party, I went to it with an old flatmate, it was her friends leaving party. I'd met him a couple of times before, seemed nice enough, but I'd never really bothered to hang out with him or anything like that. Anyway. So it was his leaving party. And I got real baked. And then there's been some casual flirting on facebook, nothing serious, not interested in him in that kind of way, he's leaving, and not really my type. But that's irrelevant. He's nice, he makes me feel like I'm a babe, and it's fun just having some flirty, non consequential times, no expectation for anything other than...I may have spoken too soon.
Anyway. I went out for dinner with him last night. It was chill. Had a j beforehand, ate some curly fries, tried some pumpkin pie. And then this is the message he sent me this morning:
Hey pretty lady, thanks for dinner last night, wish we had started hanging out sooner rather then less then a week before I leave town for a while! :-/
If you want to hang out some more before I take off then let me know, I am pretty much a man of leisure at the moment other then packing which I am mega behind on haha...
Don't worry I haven't started swooning on you or anything, I just think your a real interesting lady who happens to be pretty adorable and it is a real shame you don't have someone to make feel special...
Be warned though, I am a pretty hopeless romantic so if I think you are interested I am likely to let the hopeless romantic loose, and I haven't let him out in a while so he's restless... ^_^
Anyway if not that is just as good cos I reckon we get on enough well enough to be friends and you can never have enough of them :)
And yes. I just talked to him now about it. And I was all like, diplomatic about it, and was like all long distance, can't do it, blah blah blah and he was like for serial? Be straight with me bitch. And I was like, yeah, you're a nice dude, but I just wanna be friends.*
*This isn't actually what was said, he wouldn't call me a bitch, I'm just sayin it how I want
And so, yeah. And now he has kinda stopped talking to me a little bit, but yeah...He is really nice, but there really isn't any spark there for me. And if there isn't spark at the beginning, chances are there never will be.
He kind of semi told me off for not being straight up. Not a telling off. Just this:
ok well in this case being polite while it is done with good intentions isn't the best/kindest way to go about it, i have always just thought you were cute, for some reason in the last 24 hours you grabbed my attention and i asked you out to dinner, if you hadn't felt the "thing" for me then, you should just say no, if you wanted to go to dinner to see all good but if you still dont feel it, just say so, like this morning when i sent you that messsage i you just said, no lets just be friends then i wouldn't have spent the day wondering, half planning on wooing, you etc...
And then I felt a little bit bad. But kind of relieved at the same time. Because I'm crap at actually having those conversations. Because they scare the crap out of me.
But anyway. It was really nice, and really reassuring to be told by someone that not only did they think I was a babe, but also that they like me for my personality. Because to be perfectly honest, I don't get told that very often, or even get that vibe from heaps of guys, because they see me and they want to fuck me and that's about where the thought process ends. So knowing that there actually is that potential and it's isn't some ficticious thing made up by people who have relationships already is good. It's nice. I like it. Mmmmhmmm.
Fuck me. THis has taken me the whole day to write.
OMG. I'm going to just write about what I spent a bunch of money on yesterday. And that is....
A RED VELVET CORSET! The one I posted on FB the other day. I'm not sure. Ummmm....This is the link here http://www.whatkatiedid.com/public/product.php?a_aid=lamagia&fes_prd_id=413
So yep, it's gonna take about 5 weeks at least by my estimation, because they have to make it which takes 3-4 weeks, and then however long shipping may take...AND THEN I got really exciting stockings too. Well, some of them more exciting than others. I got...SILVER BACKSEAM ones. They're the most supremely exciting ones. So they're black, with a silver backseam. And then, black on black, nude with black seams, and nude with red seams. I'm real super excited. I wore my present nude with black seams(I figure I may as well get more cos hoisery isn't something that ever lasts forever) to Louse's parents 50th thing, and I got a bunch of compliments. So yep. Backseams for anytime I'm not at work is a rule I'm currently contemplating. Although, I'm not sure that would work. I'll think about it. I'm quietly working on becoming a pinup. Working on it.
I just told my coworker she was envious of my guns. Well, I just used one gun to demonstrate, because it's clearly my more impressive one(good ol righty). I'm stoked with that gun.
Okay. I'm gonna go. I've finished my shift. I have dancing. I may just process a complaint before I leave...(because I didn't do it cos this was more entertaining)
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