It's Friday night/Saturday morning, and I'm sick, so I'm at home, and well, I'm kind bored. And LONELY. OH DEAR GOD I'M LONELY.
I'm not that lonely. Just a little bit. Like, it'd be nice to have someone come and cuddle me and talk some shit at me, cos I'm sick and that would be nice, but not extreme loneliness. Also, my legs are fucking aching. Extreme achy pain. And it's lame. It's making it very difficult to get comfortable. I only worked 3 days this week. That's how sick I was. I never take sick days. But this week, it was necessary. I could have managed going to work today, but I was asked how I was feeling by the boss at 11 before my shift started(I was still at home contemplating getting out of my pjs and into the shower), and I was like pretty shitballs. Still. And he told me to call in sick. And that was nice. And then I went back to bed for some more hours. Everything is just so fucking hard this week. I'm sure bleeding has really helped it along nicely. Also got a mysterious, textural rash. What else...possible herp above the eyebrow? I'm not sure, it's freaking me out a little but it doesn't appear to be migrating which is good. But seriously? Do I need that? I already had a magic 3, I didn't need 4.
I don't remember when I last blogged. I could check. I'm not going to. Last weekend I went out with t-bag and met a guy called...B...anyway, he's nice, and would appear to be interested. We danced on Saturday, it was heaps of fun. Kind of...rock and roll styles. It was pretty cool. He indicated he wished to go home with me. I told him that wasn't going to happen, but he could have my number. And we made out a little. In the street. But that's all he got. Because I'm a woman of high *cough cough cough* morals. But seriously, I'm trying to stick to that whole not going home with someone straight away, because that isn't getting me where I want. He texted me this morning. And said he wanted to catch up. I told him that I have the black death, and at this stage it appears I won't be up to doing such things, but, it's really nice to have him show interest. Simple things keep me going. He is also somewhat younger...22 in fact...kind of goes against many of my personal rules, due to previous less than satisfactory experiences. But really, he's employed, has been to and completed university, doesn't live at home, appears to have all the skills required to be a functional grown up...yep. I'ma text him tomorrow and tell him I can't, but would like to soon, cos that's the truth. I'm not well enough to be off running round outside being wooed.
I would really like to not be sick. It's boring. So boring. I should get more high. That will make it better. YES, I FAILED. I'm sick and it dulls the pain.
I feel like I'm being left behind.
I wish I had someone to come travelling with me. It just isn't as much fun on your own. And it's not like I merge easily with random new people. Not all by myself. I never have. And that's not just me being paro about it, I mean, my whole life I've been awkward when it comes to making new friends, all by myself, without the aid of another friend. Hanging out in pairs sometimes terrifies me. Like they'll be blinded by all my flaws. I think I can be easily forgotten by many.
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