That's what I thought.

You were being a jerk so I wouldn't like you. No, you're just a jerk.



I'm all, uncertain about things. And yes, I am going to talk about boys again. Because they dominate my mind. I can't help it. It's how it's wired. My brain that is. The animal instinct to breed is SO strong in me. Just in case you hadn't noticed. Sex is awesome, but it's just my body wanting to have baaaaaabies. Millions of babies. "Breed""DO IT!" That's what my hormones are telling me. I've been trying to supress the urges, but damn, they're hard to ignore. SO HARD.



Fuck. So now we all know I want babies, even though I REALLY don't right now, but at the same time I really do. But not enough to actually do it, because fuck having a baby without a baby daddy to do half the work. Or someone to do shit for me when I'm too preggers to do it myself. So, unless I have someone to support me, I have no intention of popping out any babies. I seriously think I'll have kids by the time I'm 28 though. I feel it in my ute.



Bitchface arsemonkey. I do swear a lot. I should get on top of that. Yeah. I should. I'll try. It's hard when you mostly hang out with the unemployed and trades people.



I feel like getting drunk. I feel destructive. Maybe it's just...no, I forgot. It's way harder to blog when you get calls. I'm feeling just a general urge to get fucked up. Perhaps to ignore my general pining for the long term company of the opposite sex. And to ignore the fact that I want someone who is highly unattainable and is only going to make me miserable if I continue like this. Yes, I am fully aware of my present situation and the pitfalls I'm dancing around. Does that mae sense? I'm not sure it does but I know what I mean and that's the most important thing as far as I'm concerned. I'm fully aware of everything I'm doing wrong. And when I want to, I will make it all better. Somehow. I'll work this shit out. I feel like crying. I think it's sleep deprivation. I haven't been getting much of the sweet sweet sleep. Mostly because I'm doing freaking early shifts and I can't seem to get to bed early enough. Probably because on Mondya night I had pole, and then last night I watched Outrageous at Lynne's and then walked home. With a posse. It was kinda awesome because it made the journey take way less time. I mean, it was still just as long, it just seemed shorter because I wasn't left with my own thoughts for half an hour.



Oh man. Now he's texting me about how he wants to have anal, and that I have a "beautiful bottom". He's so confusing. KRISTINE! I hope you read that with your accent because that would be awesome. SO awesome. I'm going to make you say it for me when you're back. What am I sposed to...I dunno. He's one hell of a confusing man. I can see why there are women with pitch forks all over this building waiting for him to walk around the corner. I really can.