BOREDOM BLOGGING

I. Am bored. So I'm going to blog. Blog blog blog. It's something to do while I'm down in reception, answering the zero phone calls and talking to all the no people around here. They're all off visiting the train. I just put my sweater on and my hair got all staticy. Awesome. Yeah, so pretty much everyone in transport has gone to have a squiz at the train, and I got sent down to reception to cover it, and I would much rather be upstairs answering calls, shooting sexy glances across the room with my provocatively tight clothing and amazing cleavage. Yeah, that's right. My cleavage is amazing. You know it. I should have taken the total mobility stuff with me after all. Aw yus. Tarsh is bringing them down for me. It's sad that I'm excited by this. So so sad.

So last night, I got a bit angry/depressed/I'm not entirely sure what the emotion was, but it was leading to self destruction. I only had 2 vodkas. I also cried. I walked in the door, no one was home, and I just started crying. I don't really understand it. I think, it was the bus ride, and all that time to think about things. It's good when I have a book to read on the way home because it stops me from fixating on all the small shit. Or the big stuff as it may be. Mostly, sexual frustration, surrounding the man I want in my pants more than anyone else but seem to be finding it impossible to achieve. I need to talk to him. Not via text. In person. And tell him it's making me mental. Because it is. I mean, I'm pretty hot. I could have a lot of guys if I wanted. But I really want him. But if he doesn't want to bang me, then he should say. We all know how much I hate not knowing.

BUT I think I made some serious progress today. In that, um, he texted me this morning, cos he was bored, and he wanted to be stimulated. I asked what kind of stimulation. He said visual. I sent a pretty excellent picture. It didn't include any genitals. Or nipple. But it was pretty good. So good in fact, that it elicited the response of "I want to fuck you right now". That's pretty much what I was aiming for. And a positive step towards getting what I want. I'm pretty sure he's going to stick to his promise of banging in return for my non smoking. I'm doing so well! I would have caved last night if there was tobacco around. I think. In saying this, when I got home, I got my greens, and I was going to smoke it. But then I got to the oven, and I couldn't bring myself to turn on the knives. I actually don't want to fail on my quitting. I'm real proud of myself for making it this far. I know a lot of people struggle even getting to this point, so I feel like I deserve to give myself a lot of credit.

I'm hungry. So hungry. Okay, I have some things I can do now so I'm gonna do them. SCHWEET!

XOXO (imagine the gossip girl voice saying that)