Easier than Expected

So, had a chat with TA. Went waaaaaay better than I had expected. Possibly I had talked myself into thinking it was going to go badly. It didn't. I didn't really say much to be fair. It consisted of this:
"I'm worried I'm going to hurt you"
"Why?"
"Because, I think I will. I don't know, I can't...I'm not sure"
"It's okay, I realise you're not into relationships and stuff"
"Okay, good, because, I need to be okay on my own before I can do the whole relationship thing"
"Yeah, I know, it's okay"

And then I got a cuddle. It was okay. And then, he sent me a text, saying "Don't worry about me. I'm cool with just a casual thing. I'm still kinda on the lookout for a real relationship but I never expected that from you." and then "I do care about you though. Don't get the wrong idea." So, pretty much, best outcome I could have asked for.

I could do a relationship. I could be quite happy in one. I don't want to date him though. He's lovely, and he gets along with my friends, and he buys me coffee/drinks when we go out(I still find this a novel experience after years of providing for myself and never expecting anyone else to step up to the plate and buy things for me), we get along really well, but there just isn't...that something it would need to be a dating kinda relationship.

Before I can do any kind of relationship, I need to have sex with one man in particular. I've never had to work so hard to get into anyones pants before in my life. I'm being quietly driven insane. I WANT HIM SO MUCH! I've been having sex dreams about him all week. It's all I can think about. Sex with anyone but him wouldn't satisfy anything. I'm in a constant state of arousal. It's actually all I can think about. UFNEILAF NHWBEIGwerIVGNER

cRAZY. So much crazy. I cried last night watching tv and there were people who were helping a little old lady because she didn't have enough money to buy her meds. It was an actor! Holy crap. So sleep deprived. It's okay, i'VE SLEPT NOW. Keep hitting caps. It's all good.

Right. Now that it's been commented on that I'm blogging, I'm going to stop. Yep. Just for today. Or maybe for the afternoon. Depends if anything interesting happens...